Everyone knows that the time leading up to Christmas is one of the most stressful times of the year. Parties and pageants get scheduled into our already hectic lives, while chocolate Advent calendars herald how many shopping days we have left. Pretty soon we begin greeting one another with "Have you finished your Christmas shopping yet?" Giving gifts in a spirit of joy and charity is so central to how we respond to Christmas, that how much we spend each December becomes a good economic indicator. But just how much are we "expected" to spend?
Gift giving is associated with almost all holidays, and I'm not negating the pleasure derived from giving or receiving gifts. Yet I find it hard to justify the cost involved in meeting current expectations at Christmas. A cost that is both financial and spiritual. The task of finding the "perfect" gift for everyone on my list each year was stressful enough, but even worse was that I never managed to stick to my budget. Many years found me still paying off my Christmas credit card expenditures six months after the holiday. And I wasn't the only one. A few years ago my husband and I broke with tradition by drastically cutting our Christmas shopping list. We began by crossing off the names of our "well-off" siblings and friends. Before long we couldn't even justify buying gifts for each other either; there is really nothing that we need. Together we decided to use the money budgeted for gifts for each other to give just that much more to our favourite charity. It has become a satisfying expression of gratitude for our blessings that we love giving to each other for Christmas.
Now I'm not saying that we don't give other gifts at Christmas too: We have three children whom we love to indulge, and we never forget to treat older relatives who are on fixed incomes. But like many parents, we have struggled with what our kids have been taught by society to reasonably expect for Christmas. This year's "must-have" gift, the Sony PS3, retails for over $700 dollars. I have a hard time accepting that it has become "reasonable" to pay that much money for one Christmas present, and an extravagant toy at that, when that much money would buy decent snowsuits for several needy Canadian children. Sure, I want to give my children what they ask for as much as the next doting parent, but responding to the hype of Christmas "shortages," and giving in to the expense of such an unnecessary luxury item would be detrimental. What kind of message would I send to my kids if I treat these kinds of commercial expectations as normal? If I allow advertising to convince me that last year's model is inferior, then buying the newest one simply because it's Christmas would reinforce to my kid that it is justifiable to spend hundreds of dollars on a mere possession, even though he loved the old game console until the release of the new one. And kids are not the only ones to be influenced by this insidious marketing strategy, as the amount of money adults spend on marginally improved digital cameras, for example, can attest to. The need for the instant gratification of having the newest or latest item is extremely powerful, but giving into these expectations only furthers a culture of dissatisfaction, and short-changes our kids in the process. It's normal to want to give our children everything within our means, but it doesn't mean it is the right thing to do.
The substantial increase in donations to local food banks, toy drives, and charities (like The Salvation Army) is evidence that most people respond to Christmas with goodwill toward their neighbour. After all, being charitable makes us feel good, right? But how many of us will be dropping Sony PS3s into those toy bins at the mall? A luxury item isn't an appropriate Christmas gift for a child who needs warm winter clothing or enough to eat, let alone a new toy. But is a high-ticket item a more appropriate gift for our privileged sons and daughters?
Paring down on the cost and number of gifts can be very liberating. Rather than agonizing over what to give the adults in our lives "who have everything," give a small gift, or better yet, the gift of our time. Or another response to the rampant consumerism of Christmas is to give an alternative or "virtual" present. Besides sharing your money where it is needed, alternative giving has the added bonus of being one way to counter the negative effects that Christmas has on the environment, such as increased landfill and energy consumption.
Giving gifts at Christmas should be an expression of joy and love. Not a task that over-extends our wallets. We don't need to be enslaved by the expectation that showing our love means spending extravagantly on excess. Reacting against this trend may very well allow us to experience true peace at Christmas.
Robyn Lee is a writer, painter, avid gardener, and Cultural Studies graduate. She is a regular contributor to The Social Edge.
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