Columns

RESISTING THE CORPORATE CULTURE

by Gerry McCarthy

I was fascinated by a piece in The New York Times last month by Jennifer Steinhauer entitled "Never Mind Mars and Venus: Who is the 'Decider'?"

     The piece was prompted by President George W. Bush's response to a question about Donald Rumsfeld remaining as Secretary of Defence. "I hear the voices, and I read the front page and I know the speculation. But I'm the decider, and I decide what's best. And what's best is for Don Rumsfeld to remain as the Secretary of Defence," Bush said.

     Instead of fixing on politics, Steinhauer daringly raised the issue of who wears the "decider badge" when it comes to "interpersonal dealings." She was thinking specifically of marital relations.

     Toward the end of the piece, I was amazed to learn that "In practice, it seems many contemporary marriages hew to a corporate management template." Was Steinhauer kidding? It appears not. A serious illustration was provided for sceptics. She writes: "Donna Perry Keller said that she and her husband, Robert Keller, who live in Kalamazoo, Michigan, 'defer to each other's core competencies.' Mr. Keller, 38, a trained accountant pays the bills. Ms. Keller, 37, a former schoolteacher, calls the shots with their 5-year-old twins."

     The article stayed with me for days. I couldn't seem to shake it. Finally, I decided to talk with family and friends about the piece. Responses varied. Some were bewildered. Many laughed. But I remained troubled by the idea that married couples would be following a corporate model in their decision-making.

     Few people will dispute that corporations today have tremendous power in our culture. The debates come over whether these corporations are cutting themselves off from social responsibility and the environment. But have we seriously come to grips with how the corporate culture is percolating into our most intimate relationships, or what sociologist Arlie Russell Hochschild calls our "emotional culture?"

     It's interesting that Hochschild has written that literature on the corporate culture is relevant, growing, wide-ranging and theoretical. But she insists that, "rarely do authors focus on work-family balance, emotional culture, or gender." That's too bad, because we need it desperately.

     I would have a hard time explaining how my wife and I arrive at decisions. It's messy, intricate, heated, and impossible to condense in a few sentences. But I know we don't follow anything like a corporate management template.

     Although at times I've mistakenly believed that I could perfectly micro-manage the day-to-day details in lives (anticipating everything and ensuring there are "fallback plans"), I know it's pure folly. Life happens. And I've learned to roll with the punches.

     This isn't to say that I believe in decision-making that's scattered, fuzzy, and disorganized. But the idea of adopting a corporate template in my personal life leaves me feeling queasy and angry. For many years, I've consciously avoided using terms like "the bottom line," "stakeholders," and "process" in conversations with friends and family. That's because I've feared that the corporate culture does impact our most intimate relationships.

     Some people will find this is over-the-top. But if people are seriously talking about their "core competencies" with marital relations we know something isn't right.

     I don't pretend to be invulnerable to corporate-speak. But I feel that resistance is critical, and that comes from the deepest part of me. Instead of using a corporate management template in marital relations --how about broadening our perspective, listening, thinking, allowing for sorrow, and being patient? Try introducing that into a corporate equation.

     In a recent review of Philip Roth's new novel Everyman, Nadine Gordimer writes that: "The strength of resistance derives from even further back within us than the drive toward freedom."

     This is where I find my hope. When I feel my faith fully alive, the capacity to resist the corporate culture is strong. This isn't about being sanctimonious, high-minded, elitist, or bitter. Instead it's about recognizing our individual dignity, the gift of life, and a love that can be freely shared.

Gerry McCarthy is Editor of The Social Edge.